


breaking and putting together

by charjace



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Izzy/Lydia, Mentions of Magnus/Alec, Mentions of; Luke/Maryse, mentions of clary/maia, the sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 11:03:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11713068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charjace/pseuds/charjace
Summary: sequel to 'love's a scary place'





	breaking and putting together

_Hi_ _s alarm is blearing, waking him from a deep slumber he had been in. Groaning, he reaches over and hits the button to turn it off before moving to go cuddle into his boyfriend, but when he did so, he didn't find him there and frown formed upon his lips._ Maybe he's already up, _he thinks to himself as he pulls the covers off of himself before showering quickly, pulling on a pair of pants and shirt. He wasn't needed at the studio for another two hours._

_Moving around the_ _apartment_ _to make himself breakfast, he saw no signs of his_ _boyfriend_ _so his mind supplies that he must be at work already as he walks towards the door after hearing a knock on the door. Opening it up, he_ _sees Lydia, she lives down the hall from them and works with his boyfriend._

_"_ _Jace_ _ready?" She asks, with a small smile upon her lips as she shouldered her bag._

_Simon frowned a little, "I thought he was already at work because he's not here."_

_Lydia's mouth is turning down to match his, "He didn't tell me he was going to go in early. But, I guess I'll see him at work. Thank_ _you, Simon_ _, see you later."_

_He gives a small nod of his head, and watches as she walks towards the elevator and he goes back into the apartment. For the rest of the day, he went about his day, sending a text or two to_ _Jace_ _to ask how his day was going but he got no reply._ _So,_ _to comfort himself, he says that_ _Jace_ _is just busy with his work and has no time to answer his texts._

_When the clock struck midnight, Simon got worried. He tried to call_ _Jace_ _but nothing came of it. Standing in front of Lydia's door he hammers hard on it. If she was home, it meant that something must have happened to_ _Jace_ _. He was about to knock again when the door opened, and Lydia clad in a robe answered the door._

_"What are you doing – Simon?"_

_"Shit! Was_ _Jace_ _at work today?" Simon asks, worry evident in his voice and Lydia ushers him inside._

_"No, when I got there, no one_ _saw him. Is everything okay with_ _Jace_ _?" Lydia asks, moving around in the kitchen and fixing Simon a drink to calm him._

_Simon shakes his head, "I-I don't know. He wasn't there when I woke up, and_ _it_ _s_ _midnight now, he should be home by now. I'm getting no answers from him," Simon answers after a few moments, glad that Lydia was just waiting for him to say what he needed._

_Lydia doesn't say anything until she hands Simon the cup, and his fingers wrap around the cup as he takes a seat on her couch_ _. "When I tried to see where he was, I also got no answer. Maybe we should see if the others have seen him, or heard from him."_

_Lydia pulls out her phone, is first calling up Alec and nothing. Isabelle, Clary, Maia, Magnus... all nothing and Simon started to tear up. He put the cup on the coffee table, pulling his legs into his chest as he rested his forehead on his knees._

_"_ _Jace_ _... come on, pick up. Pick up," Lydia's voice says, and Simon can hear the worry in her voice. "I swear – Oh thank g- Fuck!_ _Jace_ _, for crying_ _out l_ _oud_ _, where are you? Come on, did something happen to you, you need to fucking call back. Or at least answer your boyfriend's calls, you know he worries! God fucking dammit_ _Jace_ _, just call one of us back, anyone."_

_There is a_ _frustrated_ _sigh as Lydia throws her phone on the couch, on the_ _opposite_ _end that Simon was sitting on. She sits next to him, and comforts him._

Groaning, he reaches out for his phone that was blaring. Throwing a hand over his face he answers the phone without seeing who it was.

"Who is it?" His voice groggy, full of the sleep he had just been awoken from.

"Alec, open your door. Now Simon," Alec's voice comes through the speaker, the tone in his voice leaving Simon no room to argue.

"Fine," Simon mumbles, hanging up and chucking his phone across the bed and groggily making his way to the front door, opening it up to see Alec standing there with his arms crossed against his chest. A yawn leaves Simon's lips, and Alec just walks past him.

"Izzy texted me this morning, is he?" Alec asks as he walks into the living room, right where Jace was laying on the couch. He seems to still be asleep, and Simon is now standing right next to Alec. "I'm surprised you let him stay."

"He slept on the couch, he just looked so...," Simon's voice breaks as the memories of last night flashed through his mind.

"Broken? I believe that always shows after he runs away," Alec finishes, he takes hold of Simon's arm and pulls him into the kitchen. Alec's eyes wonder over Simon as Alec moves around the apartment like he's been here a thousand times and knows where everything is. Okay, so maybe he  _has_ done exactly that.

_Simon couldn't believe what Alec was telling him, he couldn't believe it. Simon was shaking a little as tears started to form in his eyes, because this just couldn't be true. He wouldn't do that, "N-No, y-you're wrong."_

_"I wish I was Simon," Alec's voice says with a little touch of_ _sympathy_ _that Simon has never heard directed towards him. "He's runaway. He_ _use_ _to do it as a kid, he would end up back home within a week. So, don't worry too much. He comes back Simon, don't worry too much."_

_He didn't come back, and Simon curled up in his bed barely moving for the next month or two. If it_ _weren'_ _t_ _for his friends coming around and forcing him to shower and eat, he probably wouldn't have done so._

_"Go away!" Simon_ _mumbles_ _from his_ _position_ _on his bed, his voice muffled by the pillow his head was resting on._

_"For_ _fuck's sake_ _Simon," Alec's voice says, and Simon feels the blanket being ripped from him and a gust of cold air brush against him. "Get up! Shower, I am taking you_ out _of this apartment. I've got the day off, so get up."_

_"No," Simon_ _mumbles, groaning when he felt a pair of strong hands lifting him over his shoulder. "Alec," He whines, but does nothing to protest as Alec_ _throws_ _him back on the bed, and turns on the shower for Simon. It seems that Alec has become a little bit more comfortable with Simon, and it's somewhat nice._

"Are you okay? He left you shattered," Alec questions, concern lacing his voice and years ago it would have been a shock to hear that tone of voice directed at him coming from the older male but over years, they've developed a somewhat of a comfortable friendship.

"Honestly Alec, I don't know how I am. He was gone for five years, but I still..." Simon trails off, eyes looking down at the ground for a few moments. "But I also can't forgive him, it hurt."

Alec gives a small nod of his head, placing a hand on Simon's shoulder and giving it a squeeze. "That is understandable, if you want too. You can stay with me and Magnus, and the kid if you want."

"You have a kid?" A voice breaks in, causing the two males to turn their heads to see Jace standing in the door way. His blond hair a mess upon his head, while his eyes meet with no one.

"I do Jace," Alec states simply, moving so he was standing at Simon's side.

"I'm sorry Alec, I truly am sorry," Jace says, eyes sneaking a glance up at the older male. "I want to see everyone. I want to apologise."

"And you're going to explain, everything. I will call everyone, and you're coming with me," Alec replies, then turns to Simon. "You don't have to come, but if you want to everyone should be at mine at five."

Simon gives a small nod of his head, "Okay."

"Right,  _you_ ," Alec points to Jace, "Grab your things, and follow me to my car."

_"Are we moving_ _too_ _fast? Are you sure you don't want to move into your_ _apartment_ _, I mean mine is like smaller_ _than_ _yours so -,"_

_"Simon,"_ _Jace's_ _voice_ _interrupts_ _Simon's rambles, causing the male to stop and look at him. They both had a box in their hands as they walked into the_ _apartment_ _. "It's just moving in, not marriage. Plus, I spend a lot of time here anyway."_

_"That's because you know Lydia will offer you a ride to work," Simon replies, placing the box on the couch for now._

_"True, that is an advantage. But, I am serious this is just one step further into this_ _relationship_ _. We've known each other for almost three years now, been dating for what? Two months? Oh... And I_ kind _of got kicked out of my own apartment."_

 _Simon rolled his eyes, because_ of course  _he did, "And how did you do that?"_

_"They said I wasn't around enough, thought they could give it to someone who '_ _actually_ _' use the space,"_ _Jace_ _says, using air quotes around the word 'actually', and Simon shakes his head at his boyfriend. "I'm not that bad of a roommate? Have I not proven_ _that_ _?"_

_"_ _You're just..."_

_"Charming?_ _Irresistible_ _? Hot?"_ _Jace_ _rattles off a few things as Simon laughs a little, moving to pull_ _Jace_ _in by his waist and pressing a soft kiss to his lips._

_"Insufferable," With that,_ _Simon_ _pulls away and leaves to go back down to the car so they can finish_ _belongings_ _up all of_ _Jace's_ _things – before they try any other_ _activities_ _._

He had watched as everyone else walked up to Magnus and Alec's apartment, and he was standing down on the ground floor, debating whether to go up or not. He was about to leave when he saw Maryse walk in, she flashed a small smile towards him.

"Hey Simon, do you know why Alec has asked for everyone?" She questions as she found herself in front of the male.

"A little, we should go up," Simon answers, motioning towards the elevator and pressing the button. He noticed as Marse gave a small nod of her head and the doors open and they step in.

When they entered the apartment, everyone was sitting around, whispering to each other. Maia and Clary took up the recliner, with Clary on Maia's lap. Magnus was whispering with Alec over in the corner, while Isabelle and Lydia sat on the couch, Maryse taking a seat next to her daughter.

"Where is Max?" Isabelle asks, her face pulling into a frown, and Simon thinks that she might know what this is about. She was there when Simon saw  _him_  in his living room.

"Studying, he wants to keep his grades up," Maryse answers, before looking over to her eldest son, "Alec, dear, what is this about?"

"Get out here!" Alec's voice yells as he looks down the little hallway that led to the other rooms within the apartment.

A few seconds later, a door opened and out walked Jace, and gasps went around the whole room. Clary stood up and moved to stand in front of Jace, then the next second later her hand is coming across his face.

"Fucking asshole!" She growls out before going back to her spot in Maia's lap.

Everyone's eyes were still locked on Jace, who was rubbing his hand against his cheek. Moving around his jaw a little as he did. His eyes looked around everyone, and a frown formed upon his lips as he took in everyone's faces. "I've got a lot to explain, I know."

"You sure do," Maryse said, her eyes carefully watching him as he made his way to a chair that was sitting in front of the TV. "Explain now."

Jace sucked in a deep breath, eyes falling to the ground as he let it out slowly, "I fucked up, clearly. Guess you can call it, running away. I just... I needed to think things over, I don't know. All I know is I was scared, and I ran because I couldn't take it on."

"Take on what?" Isabelle questioned, she has known Jace for most of her life and there weren't many things he couldn't take on.

"My feelings, feelings  _towards_  me," He manages a glance up to where Simon was standing with his arms crossed against his chest. "I did plan to only be gone for, a month. The most, and around America but..."

"You fucked off to the other side of the fucking world," Simon spoke up, eyes glaring at Jace from his spot. "For five fucking  _years_. That isn't a  _month_  Jace, it's five fucking years. Two years of which I spent crying myself to sleep most nights. All of which I couldn't tell if I wished you were alive and well, or if you were fucking dead because you broke my heart. Because you hurt everyone. In those five years, I was breaking inside as  _your_  family tried to help me put the pieces back together, with the help of  _our_ friends. If you needed fucking space, you should have said. If you wanted time alone, why didn't you just  _ask_. You could have answered one of us, any of us. You could have fucking answered Alec and Alec alone and that would have been okay. Well not okay, it would have hurt but at least we would have some fucking idea of how you are."

All eyes were now on Simon as he had rattled off everything that must have been sitting inside of himself since that day. Alec moved to hold him in a hug, and Magnus engulfed him on the other side. A few sobs could be heard coming from the broken brunette.

"I-I am so sorry, I didn't mean too. I truly, and utterly didn't mean too," Jace answers, looking around at everyone who just wore sad expressions on their faces. "I didn't mean to get on the first flight to Australia, but I did. It was the next available flight, and I guess I had been in the international department not the national. I took it because it did what I wanted, to getaway. On the plane, I thought about what I was doing, but couldn't bring myself to go back. Afraid you'd think I was stupid for doing it in the first place. So, I spent six months there and was going to come back, I  _was_  but, then I got on the flight over to New Zealand. That is where I have been most of this time.

I managed to support myself over there, and I wanted to call someone to tell you guys, but every time I got my old phone out I couldn't do it. I hated myself for what I did, that I couldn't even bring myself to face it, until a few months ago. The people I was flatting with, they asked questions. They started to wonder why I never made trips back over, or why no one ever came from here to visit me. I could have lied, said I was getting away from someone bad, but I trusted them. I told them that I wasn't good with my feelings, and that someone I cared so much about said some words, that I couldn't handle it and fled.

They encouraged me to just see what would happen, that I won't know for sure, unless I go back. So, here I am. I-I didn't know how I was going to do it," Jace speaks, no one interrupting him as he explained himself.

"So, you broke into Simon's apartment?" Isabelle questions, raising an eyebrow at her brother.

"Is it breaking in if you have a key?" Jace muses, trying to put some of his old playful self into the words, but it didn't quite reach. He fishes out the key he had and places it upon the coffee table, "I never got rid of it. I'm sorry, and I know that you can't forgive me right away and I don't expect you too. I just want to say I'm sorry for hurting you all, because I am. I could have done things better."

"You sure could have, and unless Simon forgives you, I won't," Clary says before standing up, and leaving the room. She stood her ground, and Jace understands Simon is her best friend. Maia gets up and follows after her, throwing an apologetic look at Simon and a very brief one at Jace.

Isabelle moves to give Jace's shoulder a squeeze, "Are you sure you can handle this, because it will take time."

Jace gives a small nod of his head, because he will survive this, he just has too. Isabelle gives a small smile towards him, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek and telling him she'd talk to him later. Lydia leaves with her, and Maryse moves to be next to Jace. He's waiting for her to start yelling, to growl at him for scaring her like that – to  _punish_  him like he thought she would when he first moved in with her and the rest of the Lightwoods, but it still doesn't come. She is engulfing him in a hug.

As she hugs him, he hears her words, "You stupid boy. Having us worried sick, leaving like that."

There are tears dripping down his cheeks now, and there is a choked sob from him because he can hear the worry she had been holding onto unfold into just those words alone. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Maryse pulls away, pushing back some of Jace's hair from his face, "You are coming to live with me, Max and Luke."

"Mum, I was g-," Alec started but he was cut short when his mother looked at him.

"You have your little one, you two don't need another mouth to feed. I'll take him, until he finds his feet again," Maryse tells him, and both Magnus and Alec nod their heads.

_Laughing echoed around the room, everyone was looking at the happy couple, who were just newly engaged. Smiles were lighting up everyone's faces as they cheered on the pair who were making out in front of them. He covers his own boyfriend's hand with his, loving how he turned his hand so that their fingers laced together and brought his hand towards his mouth to press a light kiss to the back of his hand. It was a very nice and simple_ _g_ _esture_ _._

_Maybe one day, that could be them, up there with their friends cheering them on as they're celebrate getting engaged. HIs mind wondered to how that may play out for him, and he must have been deep in his thoughts because feeling a press of lips to his cheek brought him out of his thoughts._

_"Babe, you okay there?" His boyfriend asked, a light smile upon his lips as eyes wondered over his face._

_"Yeah, just thinking is all," He replies and leans in for a quick kiss._

It's been two and a half months, and Simon has barely seen Jace. There were times when all of their friends would gather around, but Simon wouldn't talk to Jace, and if Jace tried to talk to him he would walk away and Jace never made contact again for the rest of the time. But, now, he was stuck in the studio because he can't come up with anything he feels is worthy of his words. Everything comes off like utter shit to him, and he feels like screaming and that is what he does.

He screams, he kicks the couch and pulls at his hair, thankful that he was in the studio alone so that no one would be able to hear the god awfulness that was his screaming. The screaming turned into crying and he was curling in on himself in the corner of the room. Knees pulled in close to his chest, he could barely hear a knocking coming from the doorway of the studio, or the footsteps that were coming close towards him.

He feels an arm wrap around his shoulder, and pull him closer to them and the touch was so familiar that he leant into it. The scent was too, but his muddled-up mind couldn't place it, not at this moment.

Simon just cried, and cried until he started to dry heave. That was the point in time that he felt that he should pull away, wiping at the dried tears on his face. "I-I'm so- Jace?"

"Yeah, sorry. Alec and Clary were worried that you might not have eaten yet. It's nearly three now, but they were busy with work, and so was everyone else. I was the last resort," Jace's voice sounded like it hurt that he was picked as the last resort to see Simon, but he understands. "What happened?"

"Writers block, I guess. I've been having it a lot these past..." Simon's voice trails off, because it's been off of around two months. His mind supplies him with why and he rests his head against Jace's shoulder, "I  _miss_  you Jace. I have since the day I realised you weren't coming back. I can't help it, and this, knowing you're back and not seeing you, it fucking hurts Jace but I'm scared to give you my heart again. Scared I'll love you too much again and you'll leave again."

"I'm not going anywhere this time. I promise you that," Jace replies, giving a soft kiss to Simon's head and Simon can feel a little drop fall into his hair. Jace was crying too. "We can be whatever it is that you want us to be. If that means I never speak to you again, I'll learn to deal with it because it will hurt."

"I don't know what I want us to be, because we can't go back to the way we use to be. But, maybe we can try, do you think we can?" Simon asks, pushing himself off of Jace's shoulder and moving so that he was sitting in front of Jace.

Jace reaches out to grab hold of Simon's hands, pressing a soft kiss to the back of each hand, "Yes, we can because I love you."

"Y-You?" Simon questions before surging forward and pressing a kiss to Jace's lips, it wasn't pleasant. In fact, teeth hit teeth and they pulled back, with a little laugh. "You love me?" Simon is asking, his hands moving to cup Jace's face, he didn't mind that Jace's hands never left his.

The blond gives a small nod of his head, "Yes, I love you Simon."

This time when they kiss, it was soft and light as mouths move against each other. Mapping out each other like it was their first ever kiss, like they were new lovers instead of ex turned on again. When they pull away, Simon is resting his forehead against Jace's, "I love you too, asshole."

**Author's Note:**

> is this okay? everyone happy now?
> 
> flatting - sharing a house with others that aren't family


End file.
